Everyone knows that there is no period of practice and a final exam that guarantees us having all the necessary knowledge to be a good father or mother.
Even being or not a good father, depending on who for whom would be a source of discussion, since it is obvious that each one will have a different interpretation of this concept.
It is true that there are certain variables that every parent must consider and take into account because the relationship, especially during the first years of life, is of great importance from a psychological point of view.
Added to all the difficulties that exist for each one is the fact that, more and more, it becomes more difficult to combine the world of work, family, and social life. The education of the children is very often in the hands of others and the hours that many families share are few.
Despite this, the quality of the relationship between children and parents does not have to be affected, since sometimes it is more important to spend quality time with children versus the amount of time with them.
7 tips on our behavior as parents towards our children
- Learn to plan your time in such a way that you have time with your children without other obligations, for example work-related.
In addition, if you have more than one child, it is important to share time as a family, but it also favors the minors to offer them time individually.
Each child is unique, therefore knowing them and allowing their individual development, avoiding comparisons with the other, will favor the evolution and development of their personality.
- From the moment the child is born, it is important to convey our affection and attention.
This helps him to gain confidence, increase his interest in his surroundings and encourage him to explore the world safely.
In addition, from birth, creating a positive emotional bond with them will promote emotional balance as it allows them to express their feelings and encourages a healthier relationship.
- Set limits and rules to get children to learn what is right and what is wrong.
As well as what to do to control themselves when they feel frustrated by not being able to get what they want. Setting rules allow minors to know the correct way to act and, consequently, the benefits of it or its negative repercussions.
All this helps to develop the maturity of the child, as well as the acquisition of responsibilities. Because knowing the pros and cons of their decision-making, they exercise their own choice and therefore their freedom.
- Differentiate between behaviors, that is, what children do and their own person or personality.
It is not the same to tell a child “you are bad” (it directly attacks her self-esteem) than to tell her “what you have done is wrong” (behavior).
The behavior is modifiable, we all make mistakes, but this does not make us bad people. That is why it is important to know how to differentiate these concepts because if not, we will be contributing to the minor generating low self-esteem.
- We must be consistent and coherent, both with the established norms and with the existing sanctions if these are not complied with.
It is also essential that both parents agree on them and works together to fulfill them. Discrepancies between adults must always be resolved in the absence of minors, in order to maintain the coherence of what is established in front of them.
Frequently the fatigue or exhaustion of the day ends up causing us to let inadmissible behaviors pass in the minors that perhaps at another time would be attended to and punished,.
We must pay attention to it because otherwise, the minors will take advantage of these opportunities.
- Generate a surrounding where there is communication and where problems are resolved from tranquility and not from a tense environment.
Developing our problem-solving skills, as well as the ability to negotiate, helps us to be more effective when it comes to resolving conflicts.
At this point, it is important to highlight that there are different educational styles on the part of parents and that each of them will generate some consequences or others in the family environment.
Parents with an authoritarian style will demand compliance with their rules without caring for the minor’s needs.
Parents with a permissive style will prioritize the wishes of their children over any norm.
Being for this reason the latter educational style is the one that will yield the greatest benefits since it will promote the development of the child’s maturity as well as achieve that feel understood.
- We are an example for them, so we must be good models to achieve positive learning.
We must know that we are not the only ones because teachers, friends, and idols will also mark much of the learning they carry out.
Explaining the “why” of the desired behaviors and being consistent as well as carrying out what we demand will increase the chances of their acquisition.
As an example, if I ask my son not to hit, yell or have aggressive behaviors but at home, either towards them or at the partner level, they observe this type of behavior, it will be incongruous for the child.
These are some tips that most child psychologists consider important to take into account.
Because good practice not only improves the development of the child but also encourages a better family climate where the development of new skills and the acquisition of positive resources for the minor.
Do you see yourself reflected in some of these behaviors?
“The best legacy of a father to his children is a little of his time each day.”[Battista]